Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Too Much Too Young

To quote Spinal Tap (and a good friend of mine) sometimes you get "too much fucking perspective"...

The Mercy Seat is about to become an outlet for the purest positivity. I have completed exactly one calender month without a single pharmaceutical passing my lips. But more of this tomorrow.

As I have been musing on the changing thrust of my blog, I have been strolling back through old posts. I have found some interesting threads, patterns, if you will. But I have also read many, many instances of a 'man' whining and vituperating over his treacherous colon and thus imperfect life. And then last week, on wednesday, I got some perspective.

A friend of mine at school died suddenly and tragically, in his sleep in the early hours of wednesday morning. He was 40. He was also one of, if not the best and most well-loved teachers I have ever worked with. He had time, patience and kindness for pretty much every student I witnessed him with. He was also bloody funny and made me laugh about something nearly every time we spoke. It is a sad, frustrating and inexplicable loss.

And so the perspective... I am well. I am going to stay well. But, you know what... whatever happens I have a great deal: wonderful wife, beautiful kids, loving and supportive friends... much more than than I haven't got. Life is too important to let this disease control and dictate it. It's my life. I'll decide what I eat, where I go, and when I want to take drugs. Time to start living again.


Jade Sheldon said...

What a tragic lost. I am so sorry.

Life is about living and not letting things (such as UC) stop you. It is so easy to fall into the habit of being negative and thinking about what you don't have instead of all the amazing things that you do. Even in this moment of tragedy, you are able to realize what must be done instead of letting it sidetrack you: Congratulations.

Best wishes always,

Skinny Girl said...

This week a friend of mine had their one year child die from meningitis. It was very sudden and unexpected. Broke my heart. Made me look at my life too. Good health and happiness are relative aren't they. Yes, I have UC, but look at all the blessings I have too. And I have my son and my husband with me and I'm well enough to be with them. My cup runneth over. Love your last line. It IS time to start living again.

Rich said...

Hi Jade, thanks. You're right. This has been yet another test of my new-found positivity. But I am getting much better at processing these things. You can be sad and stay positive.

Hello Skinny, I am sorry to hear about your friends child, that is truly awful. The death of a child is perhaps the deepest sadness. But it does make us keep our perspective relative. Life with UC can be shit, but we should live it and grab hold of good when it's there.

Paula said...

yep, how lucky we are...sometimes it's sad things it takes something so awful to happen to someone else to make us appreciate what we do have...