Sunday, 25 October 2009

Train in Vain


This is such a great picture. It is the Granville-Paris Express overrunning the platform at Montparnesse Station, Paris, on 22nd October 1895. I was reminded of it when it appeared on Newsnight (BBC) the other day - I remember seeing it on a poster or album cover in WHSmiths or Woolies when I was a kid. Apparently only one person died, a woman who was on the pavement outside...

While i was looking at it, it made me reflect on the last few weeks, and I concluded that I currently feel similar: suspended, after an abrupt end.

This term has felt long and arduous. Perhaps because i have an unbalanced time-table this year. Undoubtedly because in my year 11 class I am teaching some of the most obnoxious girls I have had for some time. Factor into that an incompetent boss, departmental discontent, and the continuous demands of constant change in the profession. But most probably the cause is this being the first term - always the longest.

At some point I hopped on the train. Its destination was 'a place of better health and well-being', but I thought I could just make out, under those letters, the feintest outline of 'a cure for UC'. Powered by school, home and health demands the train has careered along, increasing speed to make up for time lost to this blinkin disease (the driver of the Granville -  Paris train was fined 50 francs and given a 2 month prison sentence because the train was speeding), making only a short daily stop at the quiet stations of hypnotherapy. And, you know what, I've been enjoying the ride. Gazing out at the passing landscape through windows of positivity, feeling energised and confident that I can reach these destinations. In the last week, the train has really hit full speed: school has been mental, home has been crazy, workload is massive, car is being repaired, wrangling with former internet provider who won't except I cancelled my account (threat of debt collectors! Its £14 for gods sake...), steroids are running out, half term has arrived, I've got a nasty cold...

BANG! Here we are. Hanging. School has suddenly stopped. Lovely-wife and i both have a weeks leave. Everything is calm... but...
  • I have 8 prednisolone tablets left. I am taking one every other day (thus 2.5mgs a day). I have no choice but to stop them. Finally. After something close to 20 months...
  • I have a cold. Not swine flu. A cold (bang on the start of half term week... soooo typical). So often in the past colds or other ailments have precipitated a flare up... (and I'm not over the pneumonia paranoia yet either - see this post from 2008).
  • These two evil little thoughts are dancing round each other in the dastardly courting ritual that precedes the conception of a new, even more powerful, negativity loop...
So I'm hanging. But the difference is, like the passengers on that train, I'm going to dust myself down from this set of circumstances, get on the next train and carry on my journey. Tomorrow I may take my LAST prednisolone tablet.

6 comments:

Martin said...

Hope the cold shoves off soon. Maybe you should have said LAST EVER prednisolone? Enjoy the half term.

Skinny Girl said...

On to the next train then and full speed ahead!

Rich said...

Hi Martin, cheers, the cold does seem to be abating (phew, illness off company time? eek!). Last EVER pred... mmm that does have a nice ring to it.

Hi Skinny, all aboard the express to wellness? normaility? ache-free bowels? solid poo? one poo a day?? Hell yeah! See you on board.

Jade Sheldon said...

I hope you are able to do well without the prednisone and am happy to read that you have gotten some time to relax with your wife.

I know I have been waiting for my next train to pull into the station and take me somewhere other than where I am right now.

Paula said...

I didn't take my last 5mg tablet..it sits by it's lonesome in the bottle..I give it a rattle when I remember :D ...

I'm always on a train...but sometimes I get off to haev a look around before being hurtled to my next destination...

We're on 2 weeks school holiday..it's great...aahhhhh I love holidays no matter what time of the year...no wjust to figure out how to keep the kids of the computers .... they seem to think that when I'm on, they should be one ... can't fault their thinking, but I'm the Mum and I set the rules...one rule for them and one rule for me :D

Rich said...

Hi Jade, thanks, it is good to have some family time, though the kids will do their utmost to prevent relaxation! Your train is gonna come...

Hey Paula, yeah, God bless the holidays eh? I have the same computer/wii/TV problem with my youngest, but with the older one it's a case of getting him to put down his ipod-touch (no music, he is utterly bewitched by the world of 'apps')and getting him out of the house. Jeez, when i was his age my parents had trouble getting me to COME HOME, not go out! The apathy of modern teenagers eh?