I have ordered Guy Cohen's book (available on Amazon) and I have downloaded the free relaxation therapy session with Geoffery Glassborow... I have made a step down a new road.
But I haven't started yet. This is a big deal for me. I want to be rid of UC. I am utterly indoctrinated by contemporary western medicine. I am trying to open my mind. Quite successfully as it happens. And you know what? All the people I care about with whom I have discussed giving Guy's therapy a go have been... really supportive. To the degree that it has almost brought a tear to my eye. Even the lads, as jaded and cynical as me, have said "you've gotta give it a go mate".
Challenging and changing a belief system is not easy. Once upon a time, right up to the mid-UC days, when the doctor said 'jump', I quickly asked "how high?". Slowly, and painfully I have learned to trust my own ideas too. I would never dismiss medical advice out-of-hand, but actually I have to admit that I have a sound knowledge base about this disease, and, perhaps more importantly, I have the best understanding about how it effects ME. And so I have moved from the man who asked "how high?" through the man who asked "why do you want me to jump? Explain to me the jumping thing again...", past the man who suggested "actually doc, I'm not convinced by your argument for jumping, perhaps I could try hopping instead?" right up to the man who states "Ok, doc, this jumping thing definitely does not feel right for me, the outcomes are all wrong and the side-effects outweigh the benefits, so no, I won't jump...". And, of course, the doctor then decided he'd maybe been a bit hasty and that it was far too early for jumping.
Getting to the point where you feel empowered enough to speak up for yourself in the face of inappropriate treatments and/or drugs is one thing. But, opening your mind to a whole new way of thinking (albeit one that is fairly easy to see the benefits of) is a whole other matter. I've done it before though. I tried acupuncture when my associated arthritic problems were at their worst, and for three years it seemed to work wonders. I arrived at that treatment as a cynic, but told myself 1 billion plus chinese can't be wrong, and actually found it one of the most peaceful and relaxing treatments I have ever had. And spent nearly 3 years on no drugs whatsoever. Make of that what you will.
I was explaining my current decision to someone who's knowledge and experience in the world of psychology are thorough... testing the water, if you will. Someone who's opinion I value. And, of course, they were very supportive. But, more than that, they really struck a chord, and flicked my motivation switch when they postulated the idea that if I was even just considering giving this treatment a go, then I was already opening my mind...
I have felt better in the past few days than I have for ages. Not just UC-wise, but in general. Perkier, optimistic, more energetic, dare I say even happier... just because I feel more positive. I feel in control, because I have decided what to do. I have read plenty of nay-sayers and negativity-mongers. I have thoughtfully considered the power of placebo. And, ultimately, what really matters is how I feel. And I feel good.
Rituals of Loss
3 months ago