An old joke:
A man wakes up in hospital in his ward bed with the curtain pulled round. It opens and in strides his surgeon. He leans over the man:
"Ah, Mr smith, you are back with us... do you want the good news or the bad news?"
"Uh... the bad news?"
"I'm afraid, Mr Smith, we were unable to save your leg, I have had to amputate it."
"Oh my god! And what is the good news?"
"Ah, well, the good news is that Mr Jones in the next bed wants to buy your slippers..."
The good news: Last night and this morning I have had the pleasure of being considerably less windy. Almost normal one might suggest.
The bad news: I have been to the toilet 3 times already so far. Extreme looseness and some cramping. No blood as yet.
So, what is the plan? Well I've already taken todays single salazopyrin tab (and 20mgs of pred) so not much point in urgently rushing into action - I remain intent on being patient, maybe this is just teething trouble, but it is getting difficult.
Tomorrow I will phone the consultants secretary and get some advice from good old Dr Cairns. I cannot do this today as in a moment I have to drive west to Portsmouth to pick up my nephews - you can lay your last pound safely on the chance that the hospital will phone while I'm out. I will entertain 4 children today (although to be honest my eldest will probably blow this joint. Once I can prise him into the shower...) and then tomorrow I will let them run riot while I sit by the phone/on the toilet. The goodlady is at work today and tomorrow, so it could be an interesting couple of days!
Of course, I am going to have to carefully time the drive...
Embrace the Suck
1 month ago