So spake the Incredible Hulk (my GP) this morning when I filled him in on the details of my most recent failed relationship with medication. Which was putting it mildly I thought. However, he went on to prove his worth, and prove why with UC you need a good GP.
First of all he listened with convincing interest while I spouted on about how I was fed up with being some kind of medical mystery, the colitis conumdrum if you will, whereby all medical treatments for this blinkin disease make me more ill. Except the one I'm not allowed to take for long periods: prednisolone.
Secondly, he again listened and also made very supportive noises as I outlined why I don't want to succumb to surgery yet, and how I plan to make this argument with the hospital. He was willing to discuss with me the con's and pro's of taking prednisolone for a further few months (tapering slowly) without just intoning "BAD MANAGEMENT" or "TOXIC MEGACOLON" or "YOU'LL GROW A HUMP" or whatever other frighteners the hospital throw at me when I try to have the same conversation with them.
And, thirdly, he said things like: "You don't have to have surgery if you don't want to", and "I will help you get the treatment you want", which not only represent the kind of support you want and need from a doctor, but also empower you when taking on the mighty consultants at the hospital. He has given me confidence in my ability to take the initiative in future decision making. Which, to be fair to me, I was pretty determined about anyway, but it all helps.
After that it was the first day back at school, which joined forces with the colitis to remind me of the potential this illness has to entrap you. I had cunningly arranged the doctors appt at 9.50 to allow me maximum comfort in returning to school today (missed two lessons), so was able to get ready at a leisurely pace having seen off son 1 and son 2 + wife. During this period I had some mild cramps, bit of wind and then a relatively healthy poo - a definate improvement again, putting beyond doubt the thougt that this flare is anything other than a reaction to the salazopyrin. So I stuffed some spare pants into the bottom of my bag (see Number Twos for a far more impressive Kit and discussion), and just as I was about to leave I got a little bit of pre-school anxiety (I mean pre-school as in 'before' school rather than I suddenly became anxious of toddlers): maybe the flare-up will suddenly get worse at school... Cue a little shiver down my colon, followed by a cramp, followed by a dash to the loo. And so as I sat there I thought: the combination of colitis AND the fear/anxiety of colitis AND the physical manifestation of fear/anxiety could keep me trapped in the house for a very long time...