Tuesday, 17 June 2008


This weekend presented two challenges to the man in the grips of a UC flare-up: a trip to the cinema and a barbeque (not simultaneously). Two relatively straight-forward weekend outings one might be fooled into thinking, but just another pair of high-hurdles in the 110m of UC-governed life.

1. The cinema: after weeks of promising the kids I would take them to the pictures to see Indiana Jones and the Whatever George and Steven Thought Of, I finally relented. This was undoubtedly a fatherly duty. Indy, presents no attraction to my goodlady, not even in a world-weary-quipping-rugged kinda way. Now this trip presented issues to be planned for on several fronts (including packing the spare pants). Firstly, the bus. There is no point in driving into our city centre at all on a saturday. You may aswell park your car close behind another and sit staring at it for a couple of hours. So, the bus it is. And very good buses they are too. But they have no loo. Neither does my car, but at least I dont have to share it with strangers (including the inevitable kids form school) in times of dire need or worse. So, there was public transport anxiety. Secondly, the cinema itself. There is, of course, the obvious issue of having to use the public toilet. This is something we have to quickly come to terms with. Sadly it is not something I am comfortable with yet, even after 5 years. Its not the noise, or the smell... its my troubling obsessive-compulsiveness. I have to lower seat with my foot: I could not possible touch it! I have to paper the seat! This can make for a fabulously amusing spectacle - well, I make the asumption that should anybody be able to see a man frantically trying to lay paper on a loo seat whilst simultaneously, desperately trying not to let go too early would be amusing. Ah, imagine that contorted body now! Indeed I have often felt relief-tinged amusement myself as I've finally plonked myself down only to waft all the paper off at that instant. That would be relief-and-revulsion-tinged amusement... However, the main issue is what to do with the kids should i have to suddenly make a quick break for the loo? My youngest (8) is arguably too young to leave in there alone - I think he would get frightened, especially if it was one of those longer visits. And yet, I might suggest that having to accompany me may be even more truamatic, and I'm not talking about missing a bit of the film...

2. The Barbeque: how do you go to someone else's house for a barbeque, expressly for a barbeque, and then snub over half of the food. I resent looking like some picky fool who doesn't enjoy his food, because that couldn't be further from the truth: I bloody love eating. But as the burger (homemade by my host) was hanging tantalisingly between my lips, someone mentioned chilli. "Aaaaaahhhhh, I cant eat this" I think, and thus slowly remove it from my mouth and place it back on my plate. Unfortunately this is not unnoticed: "Wots wrong with the burger?" "Oh, er, nothing. I just cant eat chilli right now." Only its been in my mouth so neither can anybody else now. Cue suspicious stares etc. Followed later by the same old 'what do you want to drink' conversation. Joy. Incidently I also had to forego the olives, homemade relish, houmous, amongst other things, leaving me sausages and salad. Great.

Having said all that, the preds have kicked back in again and the flare-up is dying down. I went up to 15mgs on saturday and have stayed there, but I guess that's still quite low. Planning to bring it down to 10mgs next saturday and then hold out until I see the consultant rheumotologist on July 1st. Still waiting for new appt with Digestive Diseases.

And now there is a man eating Italian cheese with maggots in it on TV. Why hasn't he got bowel problems?

Oh, and Indiana Jones... disappointing. That magic aint working any more. How depressing.

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